


That One Universe

by heir2slytherin



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, also like theres legit no dialogue, it's for real painful, sad as fuck, so much hurt not a lot of comfort, well maybe im just the one who's hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2019-11-05
Packaged: 2021-01-23 07:17:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21316306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heir2slytherin/pseuds/heir2slytherin
Summary: Richie and Eddie had been in love with each other for their entire lives. They were two parallel lines. Always by each other's sides but never intersecting.
Relationships: Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7





	That One Universe

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Stitch123](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stitch123/gifts).

> i wrote this in like an hour, and it is not like anything i've ever written in my entire life. there is no dialogue, and dialogue is my strong suit, so i really hope you like it!   
also @stitch123 i'm more than positive this was not what you had in mind, but i really hope you like it!

Richie had always known that he felt different about Eddie than he did about Bill and Stan. Eddie was just…well, he was _Eddie_. There were so many things about him that Richie loved. Yes, that was the word. Richie loved Eddie. He knew that he couldn’t tell Eddie that he loved him, but he thought that maybe if he joked about some things, then it would kind of get the point across without anyone thinking anything of it.

So, Richie would call Eddie all sorts of nicknames: Eds, Eddie Spaghetti, Eddie My Love. He would pinch Eddie’s cheeks and call him _cute, cute, cute_. He would tell stupid jokes about fucking Mrs. Kaspbrak even though he was well aware, no matter how weird he felt about it, that he actually wanted to fuck Eddie.

Eddie pretended to hate all the attention Richie gave him, but in reality, it was his favorite thing in the world. Every time Richie called him “Eds,” Eddie’s heart would flutter. Every time Richie tousled his hair or pinched his cheeks, he hoped beyond all hope that Richie couldn’t tell that he was blushing.

Eddie knew that he couldn’t have Richie knowing about how much he loved the attention, so he had to be an asshole instead. He would yell at Richie and tell him not to do those things. He would tell Richie that he wasn’t funny even though he had to stifle a laugh ever time Richie told a joke. He would tell Richie to fuck off even though he never wanted Richie to stop.

…

Hammock time was beginning to become Richie and Eddie’s favorite time. At first, they would only end up in there together because one of them was overusing it, but now they would just go in together from the beginning. It was just an unspoken thing. If Richie was in the hammock, then Eddie was in the hammock and vice versa.

Sometimes, they would joke around and push and prod each other just to get a rise out of each other. Other times, they would just hang out and read comic books or talk about new video games coming out. On rare occasions, they would just sit there in silence, enjoying the comfort and safety the other provided. This was their favorite time, but they never said that out loud. Eddie loved the way Richie would rub his calf to make sure Eddie knew that he was there for him. Richie loved how sometimes Eddie would lay down with his head on Richie’s chest instead of being feet to feet. It was what they thought was their safe space. Their real safe space was each other, but neither of them were ready to talk about that yet.

…

Richie’s main concern was always Eddie’s safety. He was always worried about Eddie. He kept a spare inhaler on him at all times incase Eddie ever needed it. Any time the Losers were in danger, the first thing Richie did was look to make sure Eddie was alright. Eddie always was. This time when he looked though, Eddie was not okay.

Richie was terrified. Eddie was in pain, and all Richie wanted to do was help him, but he wasn’t sure that he could really help Eddie. He knew that he had to be brave for Eddie though. Eddie was scared enough, and Richie needed to show him that everything was going to be okay. Richie was terrified that he was going to royally fuck up Eddie’s arm, but he had to do everything he could to make sure that Eddie was okay. He made sure that Eddie kept his eyes on Richie because he wanted to make sure that Eddie didn’t have to look at that _thing_. Not once was he scared for himself; his only concern was Eddie.

Richie had done it. He made sure that Eddie made it out pretty much okay. Richie didn’t think anything bad was going to happen after that, but then the unthinkable happened: Eddie was taken away from him. Richie was extremely upset that he wasn’t going to be able to see Eddie for a while at least, but at the same time, he thought that it might have been for the best.

Eddie had gotten hurt when he was with the Losers. If he was safe at home with his mom, then Richie didn’t see how he could get hurt. Mrs. Kaspbrak would keep him safe, and that was all Richie cared about. Also, maybe Richie and Eddie needed some time away from each other. Richie was completely gone for Eddie by this point, and every time they hung out, Richie was seconds away from telling Eddie how he felt. That couldn’t happen, and Richie knew that. So, maybe it was for the best if they couldn’t spend as much time together anymore. The less time they spent together meant the less chance of Richie slipping up.

What Richie didn’t know though was that Mrs. Kaspbrak’s overprotective nature was borderline child abuse. What was literal child abuse was the fact that she had been giving Eddie all sorts of medication that he didn’t need, medication that wasn’t even real. This was news to Eddie, but it all made so much sense to him.

Mrs. Kaspbrak had always been so fixated on keeping Eddie healthy and not sick because she knew that he was gay. She thought that he had the worst disease imaginable, so she gave him all the medication she had the ability to in hopes that it would cure him. Eddie knew better though. He knew that he wasn’t sick. He was gay, and nothing was ever going to change that. He didn’t need to be “cured.” There was nothing wrong with him.

Eddie was also devastated that he hasn’t heard from Richie in a while, but he knew why Richie hadn’t called or come over. He was just doing what he thought was best for Eddie. Eddie loved him for it, but all he longed for was for Richie to climb through his bedroom window and hold him and tell him that everything was going to be okay.

…

Richie had never been more terrified in his life, and it wasn’t because a monster was trying to kill him and his friends. It was because of what Bowers knew, or at least, what Bowers implied. If Bowers knew, then anyone could know. Eddie could know.

Richie couldn’t take it anymore. He just wanted to get this huge thing off his chest, but he knew that he couldn’t tell anyone. So, he took his pocketknife that his dad gave him, and he went to the kissing bridge. He carved “r+e” into it. For as long as the bridge would be around, people would know that “r+e” were in love. Nobody would know who they were, but that wasn’t the point. It was out there in the world, and Richie was satisfied with that.

Unbeknownst to Richie, there was an “r” in a heart just a few inches from his carving. It was carved a few days prior when Eddie finally admitted to himself that he was gay and in love with Richie.

…

The last four Losers to leave Derry were Stan, Bill, Richie, and Eddie, the original Losers. Stan and Richie left on the same day, and Richie was so greatly for that because he didn’t want to live in that shithole without his best friend. He was still leaving his brother and the love of his life behind, though. No matter how you spun it, it was tragic.

Richie had promised that he would write once a week and call every day. Eddie told him that promising to call every day was ridiculous, and Bill told him not to write because he was shit at it. Stan told them all that they were all stupid because there was no way they were going to last that long without each other. They all laughed and tried their best not to completely fall apart.

Before Richie left, he hugged Eddie for what seemed liked centuries. All he wanted to do was tell him that he was in love with him, but he couldn’t. So, they stood there, hugging each other and crying.

For a few weeks, Richie kept his promises. He wrote once a week, and he called Eddie every goddamn day. After a while though, he stopped. He knew that he was forgetting to do something, but for the life of him, he couldn’t figure out what it was. For some odd reason, Richie thought whatever he was forgetting had something to do with the inhaler that he kept in his nightstand drawer.

Eddie was heartbroken when he stopped hearing from Richie, but by that point, he had already left Derry. It only took a few days for all that sadness to go away because he couldn’t remember why he was sad. All he knew was that coke bottle glasses filled him with an insane sense of longing.

…

After twenty-seven years of having forgotten, Richie immediately remembered that he was in love with Eddie. He remembered every single detail about Eddie and his love for him. However, Richie was still fully aware that he couldn’t say anything. Second verse, same as the first.

Eddie immediately remembered Richie as well. He knew in that instant why he never felt right when he was with Myra. First off, he was literally gay as hell, so there was no way that he loved her. Second, he was so completely in love with Richie; his entire being belonged to Richie, so it would have been impossible to give anything to Myra. Third, Myra was exactly like his mother, and that might have been the most horrible thing Eddie ever heard in his entire life.

Both men had spent their entire adult lives just going through the motions, but that wasn’t just going to stop now. Going back to Derry didn’t change anything. Neither of them knew how the other felt, and it wasn’t exactly like they were going to confess anything.

…

It was just like they were kids again. All Eddie wanted to do was be with Richie. He wanted to be at Richie’s side every second of every day. So, when Richie suggested that they get the hell out of Dodge, Eddie wholeheartedly agreed. He was terrified for himself, and he didn’t want to die, but there was also much more to it than that. If he and Richie left, then maybe they could have at least some time where they were happy and together.

As much as Eddie wanted to run away with Richie, he knew that they had to stay. They had to help their friends kill the fucker. They had to do it together. Not only that, but Eddie also would’ve felt like complete shit if they just left them in the dust, and he knew Richie felt the same way.

So, despite hating it more than anything, Eddie told Richie that they had to stay and fight. He was well aware that they might die, but he knew they had to do the right thing. Against Pennywise. For the Losers. For themselves. _For Stan_.

…

Down there, under Neibolt, there were so many moments where they could have told each other that they loved each other. Richie could have said it when he was telling Eddie how brave he was. Eddie could have told Richie before he died. Oh, how Eddie had wished that he could have told Richie, but he didn’t want the last thing he heard to be Richie rejecting him.

So, Eddie died without knowing the truth. The truth was, for three decades, Richie and Eddie had been in love with each other. There were so many times when they could have made that switch from best friends to boyfriends, but it never did happen. Even if one little thing had changed, they could have had their happily ever after. But, here they were in the universe where Richie didn’t kiss Eddie that day in the hammock, and Eddie didn’t go to Richie crying when his mother kicked him out for being gay. They were stuck in the universe where Eddie died not knowing that Richie loved him, and Richie had to continue living his life thinking that his best friend did not love him back.

…

Richie knew full well that all the Losers knew that Richie was in love with Eddie. And, if there was a grey area, it would have become obviously clear when they had to drag him away from Eddie’s body. And, when they all held Richie as he wept in the Quarry about how much he missed the love of his life, he knew, just a little too late, that it was okay for him to be himself.

…

Eddie had never believed in the afterlife, which was insane when you take into account that for the majority of his life, he was terrorized by a demon alien clown thing. However, when Eddie opened his eyes after taking his last breath, he was greeted by a very familiar place and a very familiar face. He was with Stan in the Club House.

Stan smiled and hugged Eddie. Eddie understood then. The Losers all shared an afterlife. He and Stan were just the first of the Losers, and they were going to have to wait for everyone else. But, Eddie would wait as long as it took as long as he was able to see Richie again. After all, there was something very big that he never did get to tell his best friend.

…

Once Richie could stand on his feet and not throw up when he thought about losing Eddie, he decided to take a trip to the kissing bridge. He took out his pocketknife that he had received from his long dead father. He smiled when he saw the “r+e” he had craved all those years ago. He recarved it and hoped that wherever Eddie was, he could see this.

Richie put the knife in his pocket, turned on his heel, and left Derry forever. If he had paid just a little more attention to his surroundings, he would have noticed that the “r” in the heart was also recently recarved by a man who wanted to confess his love for his best friend, but he never got the chance.

So, Richie walked away. He had no idea what he was going to do for the rest of his life, but he was damn sure of one thing: he was never going to be happy again because he had lost his smile, his light, his love, his Eds.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! I hope you liked it! let me know if there is anything else you would like me to write!


End file.
